A Tale of Grace

After we had called and amassed what seemed to us like an exhaustive list of possibilities, we set about trying to contact Amma. After some confusion in the lifts (we didn’t have range on our floor) we started, and Anni and I came down, leaving everybody else to do the phone calls.Then everybody came in, and we decided to call Swamiji via a landline, in hopes of getting a good connection. We decided to see first if we could call out from our room intercom room, and so rang up the operators. They connected us to Swamiji, who, I guess, was with Amma in the car on the way to Mysore. Swamiji gave the phone to Amma.

Amma spoke to Annika for quite a bit – Annika told her of all our possibilities, Amma ruled out the Ayurvedic, etc. Then Amma asked what uncle Jeff thought (which was to go back to the US) and said to do that. Anni said that Amma was the Maha Doctor… Eventually Amma spoke to Mom, and then to me. To me She asked about college, if I was sad/worried (“How can I not be, Amma?”) and then gave the phone back to Swamiji. We each told Her that we always wanted to be with Her, serving Her…

It’s such a consolation just to hear Her voice…………

So now we are hoping that we have tickets for tomorrow, the first of march, to fly. According to the website, there are 7 seats available, but it wont allow us to book it so late…
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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Towards afternoon, this guy just came up to uncle Jeff and said “You’re a Researcher in [my uncle’s field], you have a problem and I’m here to help it.” He was right on about my uncle’s field. So he came up to the room and spoke to Annika, said that we should get her immune system boosted. His name was Sri Kumar, and apparently the hospital gave him a free run with placebos and terminal patients, and he had a good success rate! He suggested that we see an ayurvedic doctor nearby, and get Annika tested to see that she was completely free from the Hepatitis virus.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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Our room is in a building that is built in such a way that the sunlight does not ever approach the window, so around 8am (I thought it was hardly 6) we all woke up. The meeting with Dr Pavithran was scheduled for 9am, so we all scrambled.When we got to Dr Pavithran’s office, he was on rounds, so we waited in the lobby. He came quite soon, just as we were about to split up on errands!

Dr Pavithran was a very fast spoken man. He was very helpful. During the meeting, Uncle Jeff tried to talk to him about alternative treatments, and other drugs, and he listened and told us that here in AIMS they could use newer drugs, but as they weren’t available on the market in India, they would have to be imported, most likely from the US. He said that if we could get it any way possible, it could be used. I heard theft and smuggling, but he mentioned trial distributions and samples…

While we were there, he called the Histology lab, and got us a tentative reward for the stabs of yesterday: the report was almost inconclusive. Out of seven slide smears, only one showed any cells besides blood. From the few cells that they saw, they could not say what it was, but concluded that it was probably a Wilms tumor, which is much easier to treat than RCC. This however, wasn’t sure, so they wanted to take out the Kidney to get good cell specimens. With Amma’s Grace, Dr Sanjay wasn’t here, so the Kidney removal couldn’t be done today.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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The car was ready by 11am – a white Toyota Qualis. We were ready by 12. We wanted to do a CT scan once we got here. When we finally arrived at about 3:30pm, we went straight to the radiology department for it. There Dr Srikanth, the Radiology Head of Department, spoke to us. He recommended doing a Fine Needle Histology, saying that the risks were minimal, and it might eliminate the need to do a Nephrectomy. This means that they could stick a very thin needle into Annika and try to suck up some of the tumor for analysis (Histology), thus eliminating the need to remove the whole kidney (Nephrectomy) in order to get at the tumor. This was a surprise… we had heard nothing about this.So he told us that he would use a very fine needle to get a sample from her Kidney, that it should only take 10 to 15 minutes. He would do it personally. The chance of inducing large scale internal bleeding was very slim, much smaller than when using a normal needle. However the chances of getting a useful sample was also smaller… They would do it with the help of a CT scan, for guidance. So, after about 10 minutes of deliberation, we decided to go for it, and cancelled the CT scan, since it would require Anni to go through many more injections and all sorts of torture.

Rishi and I went with Manoj to arrange a room and unload the taxi into it. Mom does not believe in traveling light – it’s better to be prepared. Manoj chettan was surprised when we unloaded the Qualis; surprised that we had brought so much AND that it had all fit into the car! After we got everything and stashed it three floors up (threw it into the room and shut the door) we ran back, unguided, to the Radiology department. After searching for a while, we found her in the “Radiology Recovery Room”, curled up on a bed in a lot of pain with a butterfly on one arm and about 4 holes in her side. A butterfly, in a hospital, is not a pretty sight. It is a plastic tube which sits in the vein and provides an interface to attach a tube, drip, syringe, or anything to it. The butterfly was just in case there was some complication… The anesthetic had kicked in only 10 minutes after the procedure, and she had almost screamed after the 3rd pass through… When it finally kicked in, it only worked for about 15 minutes.

After going through all that pain, Annika decided that she would like to be fully sedated before anything else happened.

Later on in the evening, we were lucky enough to meet Dr Sanjay Bhatt, before he went off to Goa for a conference or something. He sat with us for a long time. He was thankfully very frank and straight forward with us, but at the same time had a nice sense of humor. I really liked his attitude, personally. He told us that the situation was quite grim (although he said it in a calm, positive way) and we discussed different types of treatments, different types of drugs and different ways of getting at the tumor. I learned that the tumor, when it spreads, the cells that are developing out of control break off and go through the blood to settle elsewhere, in Annika’s case on her bones and in her lungs. In the remote sites, the cancer cell type is the same as that of the tumor.

Dr Bhatt had been in surgery all day, standing up. When I asked him if everything was successful, he said that he had done everything he could do on his part; the rest [gesturing to Amma’s photo] was God’s job.

Uncle Jeff had read up a lot on the net about cancer, specifically Renal Cell Carcinoma, (RCC), and, in his own words, knew “just enough to be dangerous to talk to,” and talked to Dr Sanjay about all these new treatments and new drugs. What we found out was that AIMS was following the tried and tested, approved, and woefully inadequate methods of a few years ago. The newer technology was unfortunately not used here, and trial drugs were unheard of. But Dr Sanjay was more than willing to collaborate with doctors in the US to provide the most recent developments. He also very kindly arranged a meeting with the Oncologist, Dr Pavithran for the next day.

Manoj Chettan arranged for Uncle Jeff and I to log into the wireless network on the first floor of the main entrance, just outside Dr Prem’s office at around 9:30pm. From there, Uncle Jeff skyped his contacts in the US, and arranged for them to call us during our meeting with Dr Pavithran at 9am. Then we checked e-mail, etc, and were out till late.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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Today I had my Digital Electronics Lab in the afternoon, or I thought I did, and so went off at noon dressed up in the brown uniform for that lab. Of course, when I got there, I found out that the schedule had changed, and we had Metallurgy Lab instead: blue shirt, pants, and sneakers! Great… Luckily, Anoop (who had his foot in a cast) was also caught in the switch, only on the other side, so we exchanged shirts and went off for the lab.The Metallurgy Lab was… well… ok. I was tired, there wasn’t much to do, so I kinda dozed off while my group-mates ground down our piece of mild steel to a fine finish for grain analysis. Of course, they called me at critical junctures…

After the Lab, we found out that we had extra theory class for the electronics lab from 5 to 6pm. I wasn’t planning to go for that, but ended up going somehow. That class was extremely boring, I happened to know most of what the teacher was saying, and what I didn’t know, he emphasized for about half an hour… it was quite a long class, and lasted to 6:30. I was semi-conscious for most of it, and was the first one out. I went straight back home.

When I got there… crisis.

Apparently, in my absence, Dr Ashok had called and was very surprised that we were still in Amritapuri. Apparently, Amma had been talking to him, and had told him that we had to get to AIMS for treatment. From what he told us, I guess Amma told him the same thing She told us in Her room before Sri Lanka – that we should treat it medically. He also said that he had been in touch with Dr Sanjay, and that the two of them were expecting us to be at AIMS by now!

But that was in the evening, so we had to make arrangements to go to AIMS the next day.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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Later on in the day, Uncle Jeff and I went to Vallikavu to upload Annika’s huge scans to the net, for easy distribution to doctors here and in the US. While it was uploading, Uncle Jeff went out to find an ATM. When he asked around, he was told that there was one at Ochira, just “a kilometer” away. So off he went. Mom called me, and I said that he had gone out to explore, that I should be able to find him in a jiffy, he was probably just going up and down the street. About an hour later, uncle got back from his 12 km round trip journey!And yes, he had found his ATM.

At night, Uncle Jeff was able to get into the boy’s computer room to continue his skyping and emailing. He was there late into the night.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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We went down then came back up, then went down to wait for Amma. Amma didn’t call, we waited at the bottom of Her stairs, When she came down at 10:30, hugged Anni, cried, gave Uncle Jeff a big hug, long hug, said “you’re her uncle?”, went. She was walking across the bridge way.Anni and I ran ahead and positioned ourselves in Acchan’s house, where Amma was sure to stop on Her way. She came and sat down near Acchan, was teasing him, etc. We were standing in a corner of a room there. After about 5 minutes Damayanti Amma was brought in a wheelchair. Amma talked to her, asking her if she remembered anybody’s names, etc. Damayanti Amma’s memory is failing. Every once in a while, Amma glanced in our direction, but I can’t be sure that She was looking at Annika…

When it seemed like She was about to go, Anni and I went out and joined the line, so that Amma would pass by us. However, when She came out, She didn’t see us. I ran to a point later on in the line, She just passed by. Then I followed Her over the bridge (the whole crowd was) and was stuck on the first landing from the bottom on the other side as Amma got into Her car. I jumped over the side into the soft wet sand below, crossed under the bridge, passed Amma’s car and was at a spot where I could meet Her as She passed by, but She didn’t say anything…

And She left.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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Sunday morning, around 3:45 am, our man Manoj calls from the airport and tells me that almost all the passengers of Uncle’s flight have left the airport, and that Uncle Jeff has still not come out of the airport. Not Again!!! He said he would wait some more. Around 4am, he calls again with the good news that Uncle Jeff has finally arrived, sans the most important bag: the one carrying the juicer and supplements, the hot/cold packs, etc! It was lost in the Dubai airport… Oh well. Uncle had, however, filled out all the papers.I asked Manoj chettan (elder brother) to bring uncle here ASAP, as Amma was expected to leave soon for the North Indian tour. So they hurry onwards, and I drift back into my semi sleep.

Come 5am, we all get up and take our baths, as we had heard that Amma was going to leave at 6. By 6am, we are all down below Amma’s room. At 6:30, Raju chettan kindly tells us to come back around 9:30, and that Amma was not leaving till after 10. We retire back to our room to sleep some more.

About 7:30, Manoj chettan calls and tells me to meet them at the Vallikavu side of the bridge. Uncle Jeff had finally arrived!

After the preliminaries, some marginal unpacking, etc, we all went down to near Amma’s house, introducing Uncle Jeff to all and sundry on the way. We went down to the Darshan Hut. Even though it was only 8:30, and She was only supposed to go by 10, there were still many people waiting for Her.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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All Friday, or all of the latter part of Friday, Rishikesh and many others have been getting Uncle’s room ready. Rishi and I also poured over uncle’s flight itinerary, and decided that he must be coming this Saturday morning at around 3:45am. Subhadramma’s son, Manoj who works in AIMS was lined up to pick up uncle Jeff from the airport, escort him to AIMS, arrange a meeting with Dr Sanjay, and pack him off towards here after finally getting the hard copy of the records and scans. Whew!So this morning at about 4 I got a call from Manoj, who said that uncle Jeff hadn’t showed up yet. I had him go to the taxi stand, the airport enquiry, and then back to AIMS to search the whole lobby… no luck. So finally, poor Manoj, at around 5am called off the case, after Annika insisted that I go over the itinerary. I saw a huge mistake: although the departure from Dubai was on the 24th, the arrival was not till the 25th! It was a midnight flight… I felt so sorry for Manoj Chettan; he hadn’t slept the previous night either, since a brahmachari had gone up to AIMS for treatment…

Today Sheela Aunty and Lakshmi Chechi threw out the milk and curd I had bought last Wednesday… I was at my wit’s end with regard of what to do with it…

Amma came back from Sri Lanka at 1:pm. None of us saw Her. We were feeling like we should go down, go down, but when we finally got out of the door, we got a message that Amma had already reached Her room. She came in through the south gate, so most people missed Her. Those who saw her said that she seemed quite tired.

This afternoon, Manoj Chettan collected the papers from the doctor to give to uncle Jeff tomorrow, and agreed to do a repeat performance…
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
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