More from Anni’s Diary

January 31, 2008 Kamala Amma's Grace, Anni's Diary

Dearest Friends and Family,

Today is “Martyrs Day” in India, Jan 31, 2008 the day that Mahatma Gandhi was shot dead in 1948. His last words were, Hey Ram, or O Truth, depending on how one wants to translate that. Today is also the last day of Amma’s South India tour, and as I type, she is giving darshan in Thiruvananthapuram. I do not think anyone, including myself understands the sacrifice she is making there. She should be here tomorrow. I don’t know when we will get a chance to post this, we have ceased the cell phones and all the conveniences that come with them are also gone. What was Anni’s life sacrificed for? I still do not understand. Was it a sacrifice? It feels so to us. For us, she is purity and innocence, brightness, personified. Her presence in our lives kept us in that frame of being as well. Who and what Anni is, is so precious…Here is a verbatim letter that she wrote to Amma, the date of the translation into Malayalam is March 31, 2004, She had probably written it some days or weeks before, getting good
translation is very difficult. Anni would have been 15, almost 16 years old at the time of writing.

Dearest Amma,

If this world is really so unreal, then why are we so unable to understand that? Why is it that the unreal appears so real, and the real so distant? Is the physical world (as in tables, bodies, etc.) also unreal or is it just the social world (‘I’,’me’, ‘mine’, ‘you’, ‘yours’, etc)?

I imagine that if we know our oneness with everything then there would no longer be any purpose of human existence. Riight? And then, if there is no longer existence, what would become of this world? It must all be a mirage anyhow.

A mirage of what?

When all is you, and each and every soul thoroughly knows and experiences it’s oneness with you, then the world would dissolve…I guess. At least we’d see it very differently.

It is said that we are creations of God, and “God hath created us in his own image.” Then how did we become so far from you anyways?

Amma, please always keep me near to you, come inside me, always be with me, and let me serve you with everything I say, think and do.

— Annika

The following quote from Amma seems appropriate here and seems to encapsulate every point of Anni’s letter to Amma:

“In the beginning the Guru will tell the disciple, who is a practitioner, “The world is an illusion. Reject it and become established in the Self.” This is to speed up the sadhana. But at last he will understand that this whole world is part of God when he reaches Realization. Then there will not be anything to reject, only to love and serve all. This state is not hypothetical, but is derived from experience.”

OM, OM, OM
Kamala Aunty, Link and Anni