Call to Tapas

March 29, 2007 Kamala Amma's Grace

Dearest Friends and Family,

I have to tell you.  Anni is having more and more trouble breathing.  If she goes for a short walk, she labors hard to get air, to the point where she sweats.  The last few days are seeing her sweat easily after small movements.  Nights are torturous,  she moans in pain most of the night.  Perhaps it is the growths on her spine that cause her excruciating constant pain in her back.  I can’t go into all of it.  I can only say, truthfully, that our Anni’s body is sinking fast under the burden of cancer.  You would feel very sad if you saw her now, from March 1st,  it is a huge difference.

We need your help.  The fact is, the doctors at NIH have told us frankly that they do not know what kind of cancer it is.  They thought it was RCC –renal clear cell sarcoma or carcinoma, and hoped they had a medical direction to point us in for her treatment. But after more detailed tests  the Doctors say now that it is not that.  This means that there is no advanced therapy for what she has.  They don’t know quite where yet to point us for treatment.  They are still conducting further refined tests on the tissues taken from her, and at this time, Anni has no doctor for beginning treatments with, as the diagnosis is still unclear.  Yet, the burden of cancer upon her body which in February was seen to be last stage, advanced metastasized cancer, is still there, still growing, and we are approaching April.  Our time is precious.  The medical world has not been able to help us yet.

Anni has been put on several different types of pain killers to reduce her discomfort.  In essence, these have also become another burden for her as she fights the nausea, constipation, mood alterations and the stupor that they induce in her.  Today, we were all again at NIH,  as she could no longer tolerate the pain medicines. She has been sent home with another round of different drugs, now with morphine to ‘manage’ the pain.

As her mother, I can see it.  We don’t have much time.  Its in her eyes, in the struggle she is making to do very small things.  I feel strongly we have to make a big push right now, through our hearts, to God Alone,  to heal and save her in her body.  I don’t know how to say it.  I don’t know if I have the right to ask you all, but I must.  Please help our dearest Anni, so sweet and dear to all of us!  Please join us in a fast of penance, of tapas,  to God. Please join us on Monday, April 2, 2007, your time, wherever you are.  Let us appeal to Her all compassionate Grace which can create universes, bring rains, heal hearts and open flowers, to transform the karma or fate that Anni is suffering from!  Let us cry to Our Lord with aching and selfless hearts, to free our Anni from all disease,  and to free the human race from the diseases of the heart!

t will be the fourth day from now,  her pain and difficulty in breathing, moving, etc. is so significant now, that I don’t know what her situation will be in 4 days.  In one week, the decline has been very dramatic.  But, we all need to take the time between now and then to prepare our minds and hearts for this sincere effort.

Wherever you are, if you can join with others, do so, for Our Lord Amma and many others, as Lord Jesus, Gandhiji, Abdul Baha to name only a few I know, have all said that group effort and prayer has power.  If you cannot,  mentally offer your efforts to the stream of appeal created from all efforts.

It is said that the universe abhors a vacuum.   I know that if we all make this appeal, to God, to Truth, to our Lord, our Maker, I know that there must be a response.  We are very aware that so many of you are making sincere efforts and prayers every day on behalf of Anni,  but we need to make a break through of some sort…I don’t know what it is, but, for some reason,  I feel and see it so…I know that if we can do this,  make a greater sacrifice,  a door has to open for her.  And when this door opens for Anni, it will open for thousands if not millions.  Somehow, I see and feel it so.

I remember about 5 years ago, Shanti, an Indian lady from Australia was at the ashram.  She showed me a photo of a picture of Amma that had completely changed when an old style photograph was taken of it. This was right before digital became the norm. This is the story as I understand it:  Hearing all the news of war and strife going on across the planet, Shanti felt drawn to offer some small penances or tapas, to God, to help change the energy on the earth.  She took a vow, and for 40 days, got up every day early, and by 6:00 was seated for a heartfelt archana.  She slept on the floor near her bed, instead of on the bed, praying that this small token of self imposed hardship, would help to atone for the ignorant acts of mankind, in some small way.  She sacrificed some aspect of her diet as well, I can’t remember what.  I may have part of this wrong,  I can’t recall verbatim, only the impression that I gained.  I was touched by her selfless effort, and the small and do-able things that she had decided to offer to God, to help transform the earth.  Her efforts were sweet and beautiful.

What was amazing, was God’s response. On the last day of the fast,  her daughter, relatives and neighbor were sitting on a couch in the living room.  On the bookshelf adjacent to the couch was a photo of Amma – one familiar to most of us, wherein Amma is sitting in a basket chair in Sweden, with a parrot perched overhead on top the chair.  When the family photo was developed,  Lo! The Amma photo had changed.  Shanti had Amma’s photo alone enlarged.  What was there, curls the toes with heart’s delight. Amma’s spotless sari was hanging outside the frame at the bottom of the picture.  Instead of Ammas precious form,  there was a huge Shiva Lingam, swathed in her soft sari.  There were some insignias on the form which I didn’t understand, but have seen before. The parrot was not there.

When Shanti took the photo and story to Amma, She said it was due to Shanti’s sincere tapas or penance for world peace that God had decided to appear in this way, to encourage her efforts, to let her know that she was heard.

Beloved friends, let us join together, in a day of Tapas and prayer, for Anni and for the heart of the human race to be freed of all disease!  On April second,  let us offer the tapas of a fast.  Do so in whatever way appeals to your heart and conscience.  If you have a health problems, do not endanger yourself in anyway,  make a smaller sacrifice, maybe one meal only, maybe no rice or bread, do whatever appeals sincerely to your heart and reason.  And let us pray, together, 5 times throughout the day for Anni and the heart of the human race to be free from all disease.  Upon rising, mid morning, before lunch, mid afternoon, and evening.

For those of us here with Anni, we will fast,  (I will take weak teas and water) for 36 hours.  We will spend the day in silence, except for Anni’s service, and prayer.  I know that we can change fate, we can change ourselves, our hearts and this earth, to make a new life here, for all of us.  We need your help!
-Kamala