Back at Grandma’s

March 17, 2007 Kamala Amma's Grace

Yesterday, Dr. P. of Neurosurgery did a lumbar puncture on Anni.  Along with blood draws and another brain scan, bone scan and the biopsy on Thursday of the tumor on the kidney, it was the last of the extractions of body fluids and tissues to diagnostic testing. I was lucky to be able to stay with Anni during the puncture and she squeezed my fingers hard. She yelled loudly at two points. The procedure seems to have affected her right leg, and it seeks to turn inward now, and is paining her significantly. At about 12PM, I suddenly felt filled with a positive lightheartedness. I really felt, Anni is going to be fine. Her time of medical suffering is over by Amma’s grace. She will begin to get better.At about 5PM, our Drs in charge team came in, and told us that preliminary findings indicated that the brain/spinal fluid was completely normal in all aspects. They don’t know what the thing is in her mid-brain. They were still not sure what kind of cancer it is, but it appears to be some sort of kidney cancer, possibly pediatric.

Even with this prognosis, I still do not feel worried. I am sure that Anni is going to get better by Amma’s divine sankalpa.  Nothing can stop that.  I do not know if She has made a sankalpa for Anni, but, I feel She has.  I feel Anni’s health and healing lay in her listening obediently to herself, and all of us helping her to. She is so kind, considerate and adjusting to people, that she does not listen to her own messages for quiet, drink, food, etc….

This morning, Anni insisted on cutting off her long hair.  It hurts her to care for it, Her arms ache, head aches, etc. despite all of our pleas for her not to do it, and promises that we would care for it…  A friend told us about an organization called “Locks of Love” in Florida which collects hair 10″ and longer to make wigs and hairpieces for people who lose their hair due to cancer and medical treatments.  It made me quite a bit sad in the heart to see my daughters’ beautiful thick braid go, but she was happy to be able to give something, do something for others in this time… so, I am also donating my old-lady locks to the effort, after all, I have far less need of locks of hair than Anni… actually, neither of us care that much, and would go for the head shave if we could, but for the sake of visible normalcy, haven’t… In her case, however, she looks like an elegant young professional type, in mine, I look like the bag-lady on the street…  When Link gets 10 inches, he will probably be sending his as well…  with his lush curls, I think whoever gets it will feel like dancing… his last shave he gave to the Lord, but…

Our dear friends who are visiting us here cut it and did the final trimming for us…

We will try to get some before and after photos of Annika up soon.

Uncle Jeff talked to the Dr.s again today, they still have no clear diagnosis, something about sarcoma, still looking pediatric… weird and horrible treatments, poor prognosis on the medical front, but not the front of God… My Lord can do anything She wants… I do not feel that Anni has anything anymore…

Thats pretty much our news to date… other friends in the medical world are making connections to Dr.’s at John Hopkins… we shall see what the Lord has in mind to show us all.
-Kamala


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