Days 19 and 20

March 12, 2007 Kamala Amma's Grace

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I felt it might be our last before Anni’s ordeals began. Rishikesh had called early in the morning, and advised us to take photos. We will try to get one of Anni up, so you all can see it… Our old and dear family friend Timothy, his wife, Stacia and son Benjamin Amritesh have come to spend some time with us. Benjamin Amritesh is an astoundingly adorable and articulate, observant, brilliant being. They brought with them a precious guest for us, Rosa, our dog, that in 1996 and 1999, Amma had blessed on over three occasions. We had the great priveledge of Rosa’s company in her puppyhood, and when we moved to Amritapuri, she went to Tim’s home, and began her duties there. Too loving to be a watchdog, she is like a big loving bear…

On Friday, Dr. Sudarshan had called with the results of the Wednesday and Thursday tests. They see a mass on her left kidney, a significant lesion on her liver, lesions in lungs, chest, bones, and the brain MRI came up abnormal, perhaps for other reasons – the spinal fluid is not draining from the brain properly. This accounts in part for the horrific headaches and nausea Anni is having. Of course, this is all much worse than we expected…then on Saturday morning, Anni began having blood in her stool…could be something minor, I don’t know…

On our walk, Anni curled up on a tree trunk conveniently suspended over the river. She was quite and still for quite some time, absorbing the natural peace of the place and the flowing waters. When she sat up, I observed that her teeth were covered with blood. We somehow ascertained that this was due to chapped lips. But when I examined her lips, I didn’t see anything…

I don’t know, somehow it deeply horrified me… her sufferings seem to be increasing. I cannot really relieve her, which is also an agony… she moans in the early morning hours… Anni saw my face and comforted me…

Dr. Sudarshan called today, he wants Anni admitted to the hospital either today or tomorrow. The core biopsy is scheduled for Wednesday, only due to his persistent interventions on our behalf. He wants the neurological people to examine her as soon as possible…pressure on the brain is never good…..we are so grateful for Her Grace in every aspect, through all agencies and people. God Bless you all, love, love, love to you.
Pranaam of Soul to each of you,
-Kamala