Call for 24x7x? Vigil

June 22, 2007 Kamala Amma's Grace

Dearest Friends and Family,

Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. I think the sun set after 9PM here, but I don’t know.  Anni’s Heart rate has been between 118 and 130, still in the post marathon stage…

After seeing Anni’s condition decline so rapidly in these last few days, and yet, knowing that Amma has said, “We all will heal her” and having heard Her ask all the Ashrams after Devi Bhava on the 16th,  to pray for Anni, and having read Her words “Group chanting and prayer is very powerful it can change anything” we feel an urgent need to begin a Vigil of Prayer for Anni, and the heart of Humanity. For Anni’s life on this earth, Amma wants urgent, sincere, heart wringing prayers. Maybe this is the only way that Angels can be kept on this earth, with all its darkness and dross. I don’t know. It does seem to me that the planet is quite un-evolved in many respects.  But then, so am I.

Kevin, one of the kind distance healers who has been helping Anni, (undoubtedly, another type of Angel) sent us this message about Ammas response today after his darshan with Amma in LA in which he asked about Anni’s healing. “[Amma said] People who are working on Anni were to keep praying, and to keep the praying up and strong….and that Anni would be feeling a little better today, a little stronger…more clarity, as pain is wearing out her mind, more sleep helps that…”

Dearest friends known and unknown to us, well wishers, family, now is the time we must push, like the tired runner, nearing the end of the race, with more effort in prayer for Anni. Your prayers are the most precious, precious things to us, most precious acts…please, we urge all of you, to sit somewhere, or whatever, and feel that genuine concern in your hearts, and offer it as you will…to the universe, for Anni’s healing….

I am sitting near Anni. She is now on oxygen (O2). She is sound asleep with the assistance of a non-narcotic drug that we were able to get through the kind assistance of a Dr. who assists the Ashram activities in many ways. Its been a horrible last few days.

On the 19th, it seemed that Anni had a third type of ‘seizure’ wherein she went limp and was unresponsive for a few seconds. Her weakness is profound. She has to be held on the toilet; once in the bed, she is not able to change her position without assistance. That night, my dearest Sarah left around 11:30PM after massaging Anni for several hours. I woke up at 1:30 AM in response to strange sounds from Anni. It appeared she was delirious. She thought she was in Amritapuri…and kept talking to people there….she thought we were going for darshan with Amma….her heart was causing her great crushing and burning pain, and we kept rubbing her chest and chanting prayers, which calmed her body down…at one point, she said, “Swamiji, please do archana for me!” When we explained that we were not with Amma at a program, she said, with desperation, “Call the girls [In Amritapuri – the brahmacharini’s] they will do archana! Tell them I need an archana done for me!” This we immediately did, talking to Bri. Chi. Bhavamrita, who assured us that the girls would do archana….at one point, it seemed she was telling me goodbye….at another, she told me that “All this (she indicated her stomach) is cancer…its really bad now….” At another, “Amma has givenHer grace for me to stay, I have to be very careful or I could permanently damage myself…”Herlips appeared to have bluish tints to me…

In the past, in Maryland, when Anni’s chest and breathing problems became pronounced we had called the Dr.s at NIH, to see if they would give us a prescription for O2. At that time, the Dr.’s said that it was not that O2 was a problem, but that her breath was ‘splinting’ and that CO2 was the problem, not O2. Point being that there was not prescription given….many times since then, whenever Anni has complained that she feels she is suffocating, we have asked, “Do you want O2? ” And she has said, “Not necessary.”
On the night of the 19th, Anni wanted to tell Amma that she felt she needed O2, should she get it? The message was given to Amma and She said, “Yes.”

Our distressed phone conversations to Rishi and Pappu (Ajay) finally reached Harsha, who connected us to the Dr. who then “prescribed” the O2 here, as well as introduced us to the non-narcotic pain killer… struggling with phones, contacts, etc., Anni had a first dose of the pain killer – a skeletal muscle relaxant at 5:45PM the next day on the 20th. At 6:15 pm Anni inhaled the O2, and was asleep in 2 minutes. Alarmed at her sudden stillness, we tried to wake her, and she woke briefly, telling us, “Oh, this is so nice, I feel so relaxed….I can breathe” then fell asleep till the morning… Link and I both noticed that for the first time, we felt like we were able to breathe as well….her need for sleep seems so tremendous that even attempts to wake her up the next morning took nearly 45 minutes. Sedated by both the drug and the need for deep sleep, she as not been able to communicate, or finish her sentances clearly…..This caused us great concern, and we sent frantic messages to Amma. We were told She heard, but made no response. For us, it is enough if She knows.

We feel an urgent need to encourage people to do all that they feel they can do, to create awareness and prayer for Anni. One friend in the DC area told me she planned to print out a page of the blog, and leave copies in public places, like libraries….another told me she was contacting the Carmelite Nuns in NY who do 24 hour prayer…. another that he was telling everyone he met in the stores…however you do it, either by sitting quietly, or by carrying your concern out into the environment of other’s hearts…however, please, let us all pray more now, more intensely, more sincerely…..

From here, I cannot do much. Ideas come, but, frankly, we are so caught up in the moment to moment with Anni…it wasn’t until today, mid morning, that I learned it was Thursday, from our dear Ammu, who called from India and sang a song to Anni…..one idea was that over internet, groups of people could form, and each make a pledge for praying a specific segment of time, everyone totaling a continuous 24 hours….and somehow, that becomes a group….and each person having the awareness of others also doing it would solidify the group conciousness….

Please, let us try more, each of us, however our highest lights guide us, let us be true to them now….please help us, let us keep Anni’s life on this earth, to add its beauty to the human harmony….

We cherish each and every one of you, more than you could possibly know. Pranaam of Soul to you all,

Loving you,

Kamala